Friday, October 31, 2014

The commercials looked good, but that is not proof that a movie is decent. I've been meaning to watch Oculus for a while. What better night than Halloween? This will be the official final movie of Geexplosion's Horrorthonpalooza 2014. I know Mike Flanagan would be honored.

Oculus (2014)
R, Film, 104 Minutes
Horror
Dir: Mike Flanagan

The Synopsis: An evil mirror kills plants and eats dogs to gain power to make people hallucinate and eat pottery.

The Pro:

Katee Sackoff is excellent as the somewhat insecure milf.

Rory Cochran, who will always be Lucas from Empire Records , put in an equally fine performance.

Annalise Basso, the girl who played 12 year old Kaylie, displayed equal parts vulnerability and strength in this role.

The Con:

I am not a fan of this sort of psychological horror film.

The Procon:

I like Karen Gillan, but Oculus was not a good fit for her.

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? Yes. Nothing wrong with the film at all. I'm sure it will give quite a few people some creepy moments and cause some kiddies to lose some sleep.


Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Christine

I have stated before that there aren't many Stephen King film adaptations that I like. The majority of them start with the letter C. Christine happens to be one of those films. I think there is a direct correlation between the quality of the direct, in this case , and the strength of the film.

Christine (1983)
R, Film, 110 Minutes
Horror
Dir:

The Synopsis: A bullied nerd buys a scrapped car and turns it into a classic ride. Too bad the car is evil from white wall to white wall.

The Pro:

Keith Gordon is excellent. His transformation from geek to confident lady killer is one of his film specialties.

John Carpenter's direction is greatly appreciated. It's rare that Carpenter tackled anything other than his own anointed work in the early days.

The Con:

None.

The Procon:

None.

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this Film? Absolutely. An excellent choice for any late night foray into the realm of horror. It's not all that bloody or gory, but it tells a story. I have stated that I like 80s revenge flicks and in many ways that's exactly what Christine is... a nerd gets power and takes revenge on those who bullied him. Hard to beat this classic.


Horrorthonpalooza 2014: The Car

I watched this one dark, dark night while I was trapped in a rural country setting. No lights for miles, everyone else was asleep. Dogs were howling. Good times. I think I was maybe 4 years old.


The Car (1977)
PG, Film, 96 Minutes
Horror
Dir: Elliot Silverstein

The Synopsis: (Per IMDB) A sleek, possessed black car terrorizes everyone it comes in contact with in a small town in Utah.

The Pro:

An R.G. Armstrong movie! He always places such interesting A-holes.

The actual star of the movie, the car, is a modified '71 Lincoln Mark III. It's pretty badass.

The Con:

I liked Jaws , but really... The Car is basically Jaws on land... the music even sounds very, very similar. Let's see, Jaws was released in 1975... The Car is a 1977 release... Is it possible? Yes, quite likely this is a dirty, filthy, rip-off. This movie even has a scene where the car is coming and the police have to "clear the beach" and tell people to run for the hills.

The Procon:

None.

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? Maybe. It's not the worst movie I've watched this Halloween season. Definitely not a movie I would advise you to seek out... but if it's playing on a slow Saturday afternoon it is worth a watch.

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: The Nightmare Before Christmas

There aren't many films that I have sat through smiling the entire time. The Nightmare Before Christmas is one of those rare, perfect movies that simply works on every single level. If you haven't watched it, then I think it's time you begun.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
PG, Film, 76 Minutes
Animation, Family, Musical
Dir: Henry Selick

The Synopsis: Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, is disillusioned with his place in the universe, but he has a plan to hijack another holiday to re-ignite his creative spark.

The Pro:

Tim Burton

Danny Elfman

The Nightmare Before Christmas

The Con:

None

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? Absolutely. I think I have already played my hand on The Nightmare Before Christmas . I absolutely loved it from the second it started all the way through the credits. I can even listen to Marilyn Mason as long as he is singing songs from Nightmare.

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Tetsuo the Iron Man

I loved Tetsuo the Iron Man when I was a young fella. Let's see if it holds up in my decrepit old age.


Tetsuo the Iron Man (1989)
NR, Film, 67 Minutes
Science Fiction, Horror
Dir: Shinya Tsukamoto

The Synopsis: (Per IMDB) A strange man known only as the "metal fetishist", who seems to have an insane compulsion to stick scrap metal into his body, is hit and possibly killed by a Japanese "salaryman", out for a drive with his girlfriend. The salaryman then notices that he is being slowly overtaken by some kind of disease that is turning his body into scrap metal, and that his nemesis is not in fact dead but is somehow masterminding and guiding his rage and frustration-fueled transformation.

The Pro:

I am a sucker for stop motion animation and Tetsuo has it in spades.

The acting is so over the top and wonderfully appropriate.

The music is very stylized and fitting for the movie.

I really can't get into the bizarre parts for fear of spoiling something for those who might wish to watch it.

The Con:

Don't watch Tetsuo expecting a plot, story, or anything like that. Just enjoy it.

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? Yes.  It was probably in the top two the very first time I saw the movie in '92. I am sad to say that since then I have watched some pretty damn deranged stuff. Yet, Tetsuo remains in the top 15 most F'd up movies I have ever seen. That's an accomplishment.


Teaser: Phantasm V: Ravager

No Release Date as of Yet... but the movie has been filmed. Bummed that Don Coscarelli isn't direction, but at least he produced the film. Angus, Reggie, and even Michael will return.

Stay Tuned to Geexplosion.com.


Thursday, October 30, 2014

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Danger Worry Dolls

I just can't really muster the strength to continue writing about Charles Band and his crappy doll movies.

Danger Worry Dolls (2008)
NR, Video, 75 Minutes
Horror, Science Fiction
Dir: Charles Band

The Synopsis: It's Charles Band. Dolls kill people in a woman's correctional facility.

The Pro:

It's actually not a terrible movie. No one will mistake Danger Worry Dolls for a good movie, but it's not terrible. There are parts that are creepy and.. very strange.

The Con:

Did the title really say "Dangerous Chucky Dolls?"

Richard Band's music... Charles uses the same crappy music for every movie. Well, that or Richard is so derivative that all his crappy music sounds the same.

The Procon:

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? Yes. Oddly enough, I find Danger Worry Dolls fascinating in a morbid sort of way.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Nightmares (1983)

I own this movie because I love one of the Chapters. Guess which one?


Nightmares (1983)
R, Film, 99 Minutes
Horror, Science Fiction
Dir: Joseph Sargent

The Synopsis: (Per IMDB) Anthology of four horror tales with a supernatural twist based on urban legends.

The Pro:

The first segment is titled "Terror in Topanga" and it is a decent telling of an old urban myth. I won't spoil it for anyone wanting to watch Nightmares... but it is a solid little piece of directing.

The second segment.. "Bishop of Battle" is the money maker. It's worth it just to see two actual arcades, Fox Hills Mall... Plus Emilio Estevez and Moon Unit Zappa. I guess that's a plus if you are a fan of the 80s.

The Con:

The fourth segment "Night of the Rat" is like a bad episode of Tales from the Darkside .

The Procon:

Segment three "The Benediction" features Lance Henriksen but it drags on and on.

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this episode? Yes. "The Bishop of Battle" segment alone is worth the price of admission. The rest of the urban myth tales are just extras.

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Phantasm 4: Oblivion

Not my favorite, but I am something of a completist. I've watched the previous 3 for Horrorthonpalooza 2014... Might as well kick back with a tall glass of milk and watch Phantasm IV: Oblivion .

Phantasm IV: Oblivion (1998)
R, Film, 90 Minutes
Horror
Dir: Don Coscarelli

The Synopsis: (Per IMDB) Taking off immediately where the last one ended, in this episode Mike travels across dimensions and time fleeing from the Tall Man, at the same time he tries to find the origins of his enemy, and what really happened the night that his brother died. Meanwhile, Reggie (accompanied by a beauty he picked up on the road) battles the spheres and the undead in a quest to find Mike before the Tall Man can complete his transformation.

The Pro:

Never trust women in a Phantasm movie. If the woman removes her clothes and is willing to have sex, then it is either the Tall Man or one of his demon spheres. One would think Reggie learned his lesson in the previous movies... then again, Reggie is equally a love and a fighter.

If you are a fan of the Sentinel Spheres then Phantasm IV is your movie. Gold Sphere!

The movies all start from the stopping point of the last movie... yet Coscarelli casts the same people (if the studios allow) in the parts of Mike, Jody, and Reggie. The first movie was made in 1979... Mike is an old dude in Oblivion . I applaud Coscarelli. Loyalty is to be praised. To hell with the logic in this instance.

The Con:

I hate voice overs.

The Procon:

Oblivion barely makes sense, but I hate to dog any of the Phantasm movie. This movie only had a budget of 650K as opposed to over 2 million like the 2 previous Phantasms .

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? Yes. You have to gut up and watch it if you are a fan of the Phantasm movies. If you hate them... then why would you even think about watching Oblivion ?


Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Ooga Booga

Ooga Booga (2013)
NR, Video, 87 Minutes
Horror, Comedy
Dir: Charles Band

The Synopsis: Whew... here goes... An African American is unjustly killed and his soul goes into one of the most racist dolls Charles Band has ever made... and then Charles Band thought it was a good idea to re-use Ooga Booga... cause no one will notice that Ooga Booga has been in about 5 movies before this one.

The Pro:

None. Not even Karen Black can save this movie.

The Con:

Ooga Booga (2013)

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? No.


Monday, October 27, 2014

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Evilspeak

I loved revenge movies as a child and Evilspeak was one of my favorites. I would rent it every other month and watch it about 3 times while it was in my grubby, Pop-Tart stained hands. I longed for the day I could have a computer and feed my enemies to pigs.

Evilspeak (1981)
aka Evilspeaks
R, Film, 89 Minutes
(My copy is 97 Minutes)
Horror
Dir: Eric Weston

The Synopsis: A social outcast uses his computer to summon the spirit of an evil outcast, Father Estaban.

The Pro:

Clint Howard: Such a great outcast. Stanley Coopersmith affected me so greatly that I associated the name Coopersmith with this movie.

Richard Moll: Moll makes a great villain. Before he was the lovable, but dim witted Bull Shannon, he was Hurok, Xusia and, in Evilspeak, Father Estaban.

R.G. Armstrong: Almost always helps a movie.

The Con:

It can be a bit heavy handed. In the 70s and 80s when you were picked on in school you watched Satanic revenge movies.... so much nicer than going to school with a sub-machine gun and murdering the football team.

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this episode?Yes. I don't care how terrible it is. Evilspeak and TAPS began my love for any movie that takes place in a military academy.

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Pinocchio's Revenge

Why didn't Charles Band think of this???!!! Pinocchio's Revenge sounds like the perfect crap movie for Band to have in his catalog.

Pinocchio's Revenge (1996)
R, Film, 96 Minutes
Horror, Fantasy
Dir: Kevin Tenney

The Synopsis: A Pinocchio doll is possessed by a serial killer and murders people.

The Pro:

Brittany Alyse Smith: A fine young actress. Very impressed with her skill - yet somehow the Olsen twins became famous.

Candace McKenzie: My heart swelled during her shower scene. I don't know what kind of actress Candy might have been... but she had what it takes to be a horror movie victim. Namely, a willingness to do a full frontal shower scene.

The Con:

A bit too long.

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? Yes. It could stand a bit of editing... maybe 10-19 minutes shaved off and I think it would fare better. It is a nice little psychological thriller. This is much too grand and nice for the likes of Charles Band.


Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Dolly Dearest

I hope Dolly Dearest is entertaining, high class terror. After all this Full Moon crap I could use a bit of class. I am interesting in seeing what director Maria Lease has to offer the world of horror.

Dolly Dearest (1991)
R, Film, 93 Minutes
Horror
Dir: Maria Lease

The Synopsis: A family moves to Mexico to make dolls but their factory happens to be built near a graveyard and we all know what happens when you build too close to ta graveyard.

The Pro:

The doll practical make-up is creepy. I do hate dolls though.

The Con:

The production is terrible.

The acting is terrible.

The movie is long, tedious, and yes, terrible.

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? No. I had to check twice to make sure this wasn't a made for television movie. The production value... even the film stock, it all looks like a Lifetime movie of the week. Troll 2 was better than Dolly Dearest . It's a good thing Maria Lease only directed this one horror flick - 'cause she contributed nothing to the genre.

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Dollman vs Demonic Toys

Charles Band directed this waste. I expect Dollman vs Demonic Toys to be full of archived footage of archived footage. At 64 minutes long I am thanking my lucky stars and blue diamonds that I only have to sit through a little over an hour of crap. I know the opening credits will be at least 8 minutes long... pretty lucky.

Dollman vs Demonic Toys (1994)
R, Video, 64 Minutes
Horror, Action
Dir: Charles Band

The Synopsis: Dollman fights the Demonic Toys to keep them from destroying the world.

The Pro:

Melissa Behr as Nurse Ginger, Dollman's girlfriend.

The Con:

The entire movie.

The Procon:

It's only 64 minutes long... but it's 64 minutes long.

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? No. Not even if I were starving and this movie came with a pizza and a grape soda.

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Demonic Toys: Personal Demons

Sigh...

Demonic Toys: Personal Demons (2010)
aka Demonic Toys 2
NR, Video, 80 Minutes
Crap
Dir: William Butler

The Synopsis: It's the sequel to Demonic Toys. That should be more than enough to turn you away.

The Pro:

Leslie Jordan.

The Con:

After Full Moon's typical 3 hour opening credits the movie finally starts.... and then lasts roughly 14 weeks. Nothing happens. It's just another attempt my Charles Band to steal your money.

The Procon:

None.

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this episode? No. If it were the last movie on earth I would destroy it so future generations would not think their ancestors we're all idiots.


Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Demonic Toys

I've had a bit of a break from Charles Band and his obsession with dolls and puppets... but now, for The Madness, I have to dive back into the cesspool. No better place to start than Demonic Toys .

Demonic Toys (1992)
R, Video, 86 Minutes
Horror, Comedy
Dir: Peter Manoogian

The Synopsis: Tracy Scoggins gets trapped with the Chunky Chicken delivery boy in a haunted toy warehouse full of foul-mouthed toys.

The Pro:

As a one time member of law enforcement I can say that the security guard is dead on accurate.

The Con:

Tracy Scoggins: Who thought that was a good idea? Charles think Tracy Scoggins fans watch his trash movies?

Just not keen on ghostly little blonde girls turning into a large breasted naked woman trying to seduce the delivery boy. If she had started as a large breasted woman that would have been okay... but the little girl angle... not cool.

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? No. I feel bad for myself because this steaming pile of crap has three more in the "franchise"... I am thankful I've already stomached Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys . I just have to sit through the sequel and Dollman vs. Demonic Toys now.


Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Death Machine

I have come to the conclusion that plenty of terrible things happen in Science Fiction movies and therefore I will no longer justify why I am watching a Sci-Fi instead of a horror film. Look at all of the Atomic movies from the 50s and 60s with giant termites and ants... those flicks were sci-fi but viewed as horror. Wait... is this another justification? Damn.... I hope I enjoy Death Machine .

Death Machine (1994)
R, Film, 99 Minutes
Science Fiction, Action, Horror
Dir: Stephen Norrington


The Synopsis: Brad Dourif builds a terrible creature that is part human and part machine... well, of course he does! It's Brad Dourif!

The Pro:

Brad Dourif: He is such a great villain. He even kinda looks like Wormtongue in Death Machine .

The Mercenaries. Once they arrive things get better in the 3rd act... but it's too little, too late to save this movie.

The Con:

It's slow and silly.

The Procon:

None.

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? Not really. It's incredibly not entertaining. If you want to watch a cyborg gone wrong film then I suggest one of the Universal Soldier flicks.


Sunday, October 26, 2014

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: ParaNorman

Thought I would take some time out from serious horror and watch a bit of animation with ParaNorman . It doesn't hurt that I found out this is a Jodelle Ferland movie. I have been a fan of this young actress since watching Terry Gilliam's Tideland .

ParaNorman (2012)
PG, Film, 92 Minutes
Animation, Horror
Dir: Chris Butler , Sam Fell

The Synopsis: A little boy that can see and speak with the dead must overcome his fear of zombies and overcome the fear of the town toward him.

The Pro:

Jodelle Ferland: The 11 year old girl, Agatha, that is the cause of evil .

The amazing for ghost Agatha was... creeptastic and bonzer at the same time.

The animation for human Agatha was spot-on amazing.

Mitch's reveal at the end. Good job.

The Con:

I'm not sure that ParaNorman is suitable for children... not all animation should be made for kiddies... but this one seems geared for children. I think it would frighten most.

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? Yes. It's a sweet and tender movie that has some amazing animation and a keen story.

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: The Walking Dead S5E3

The Walking Dead (2014)
Four Walls and a Roof
Season Five, Episode 3
Horror
TV, 60 Minutes

The Synopsis: The group does some awesome stuff and other things happen. (Spoilers Below)

The Pro:

Bob dies!

Gareth dies! Rick keeps his promises. I'm so glad they didn't drag this crap out.

The super secret cross double cross was sweet. If that hadn't happened I promised to stop watching The Walking Dead .

The Con:

What happened to everyone going to Washington?

Really, just kill Gabriel and let's be done with it.

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this episode? Yes. It was a good ending for the Terminus crew and Bob needed to die. No big loss. Now we just need to find out who was with Daryl and get Beth back.

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Transformers: Age of Extinction

I've hated all the other Transformer movies - might as well watch this one and hate it too. Shame really, cause I like Mark Wahlberg. I include another Transformer 's movie in Horrorthonpalooza 2014 because... hey! scary alien robots... right?

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)
aka Transformers 4
PG-13, Film, 165 Minutes
Science Fiction, Action
Dir: Michael Bay

The Synopsis: (Per IMDB) Autobots must escape sight from a bounty hunter who takes control of the human serendipity: Unexpectedly, Optimus Prime and his remaining gang turn to a mechanic and his daughter for help.

The Pro:

No Shia LeBoof.

Mark Wahlberg. "Hand me my alien gun!"

Stanley Tucci. "I'll follow you anywhere! You're amazing!"

Bingbing Li.

Thomas Lennon: He should have reprised his role as Lt. Dangle.

The cars were pretty awesome.

Optimus Prime essentially riding a dragon. I realize it's Grimlock... but I never knew him to breath fire.

The Con:

Nicola Peltz: They picked a girl that looks like Tara Reid, except worse, to play Wahlberg's 17 year old daughter. Good job. I hope it wasn't her idea to wear that much makeup.

Jack Reynor: I can't understand a single word the boyfriend, Shane, is saying. Nice West Texas accent. Maybe tone it down a notch for an American audience. Oh wait... it might help if he weren't IRISH!

The Procon:

Not really digging the new Autobots... but I liked the new Decepticons.

It is super long... but it made sense. I was never bored.

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this movie? Yes. This movie made so much more sense than the previous Transformers . I liked it better than the others because the Transformers weren't hopping around and constantly making noise. The human angle was much more involved... it didn't hurt that they ditched Shia LaBoof and his army of movie girlfriends.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: Exists

Looks good and I need a break from puppets, dolls, and sentient computers.

Exists (2014)
R, Film, 86 Minutes
Horror
Dir: Eduardo Sánchez

The Synopsis: a group of friends go off into the woods to a remote cabin for some reason and piss off Bigfoot.

The Pro:

Sanchez has a real fine eye for the creeps. Maybe it's just my natural fear of the woods at night... but he really captures a suspenseful dread with the cameras.

The Con:

Unfortunately, Sanchez's ability to maintain suspense cannot be sustained over 86 minutes. I was ready for the last act to be done with and for the reveal.

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this film? Yes. First thoughts... I sure do hate found footage, but this director practically invented it for the mainstream.... So, I decided to continue watching. I'm glad I did. It's not the best film or the scariest, but it was a nice, entertaining diversion.

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: The Twilight Zone S5E14

Twilight Zone (1963)
You Drive
Season 5, Episode 14
Horror, Science Fiction
TV, 30 Minutes

The Synopsis: A man runs over a boy but his co-worker is accused of the crime. His car simply revolts against such a callous and cruel master.

The Pro:

Edward Andrews as Oliver Pope, the lead actor.

Kevin Hagen as the accused, Pete Radcliff.

The Con:

None

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this episode? Yes. The thrill is in the build up. The director, John Brahm, knew what he was doing.


Horrorthonpalooza 2014: The Twilight Zone S5E8

The Twilight Zone (1963)
Uncle Simon
Season 5, Episode 8
Horror, Science Fiction
TV, 30 Minutes

The Synopsis: (Per IMDB) Caregiver Barbara Polk must take care of her uncle's robot after his untimely and accidental death.

The Pro:

Robbie the Robot plays Simon II. Whoever designed that robot should've been a millionaire. I hope he was well compensated. Probably died in a dumpster.

I like the Twilight Zone episodes where things just happen because the universe is cruel. Uncle Simon doesn't deserve revenge and yet, he gets the last laugh.

The Con:

None

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this episode? Absolutely. Uncle Simon is a true dick.


Horrorthonopalooza 2014: The Twilight Zone S5E7

The Twilight Zone
The Old Man in the Cave
Season 5, Episode 7
Horror, Science Fiction
TV, 30 Minutes

The Synopsis: A post-apocalyptic society is guided by Mr. Goldsmith, who gets his information from "The Old Man in the Cave". Life is interrupted when soldiers come into town declaring themselves the new authority.

The Pro:

James Coburn as Major French.

A post-apocalyptic Twilight Zone ... can't go wrong.



The Con:

None

The Procon:

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this episode? Absolutely. Another fantastic episode. I was surprised that it was an episode I had never watched. At least I don't remember watching it. I guessed the plot in the first 60 seconds, but that didn't make it any less enjoyable.

Horrorthonpalooza 2014: The Twilight Zone S5E6

The Twilight Zone (1963)
Living Doll
Season 5, Episode 6
PG, TV, 30 Minutes

The Synopsis: A talking doll has a little Twilight Zone magic for an abusive father.

The Pro:

Telly Suvalis as Eric, the father.

So.... the mother's name is Annabelle? Interesting.

I am so glad they used quality stock to produce the Twilight Zone. It looks pretty darn amazing on DVD. Very crisp and vibrant despite the perimeters of black and white television.

I'm not sure Talky Tina was justified in verbally abusing Eric in the beginning. Perhaps she knew that Eric would eventually turn bad. When I was younger I thought the doll was like an avenging angel, but now, older and wiser... I realize that maybe the doll just liked to kill people. "My name is Talky Tina and you'd better be nice to me."

The Con:

None

The Procon:

This may have been the beginning of my hatred for dolls. I have another event that cemented my fear but I do believe this episode of Twilight Zone sparked the dread and loathing. Keep in mind that I have never tortured or abused a doll.

None

The Verdict:

Would I recommend this episode? Absolutely. It is one of the essential Twilight Zones. Then again , I can't think of a single Twilight Zone episode that I would NOT recommend.

My name is Talky Tina and I'm beginning to love Geexplosion.